Closer Than She Thinks
by Cehsja
Summary: AU between S2 and S3. Connor reluctantly helps Abby set up an online dating profile
1. Chapter 1

Connor watched Abby curiously out of the corner of his eye as he sat pretending to read on the window seat. It was unlike her to spend much time on the laptop but she hadn't looked away from it in the past three hours. Finally curiosity got the better of him and he could no longer hold back the question. "Whatcha doing on there anyways, Abs?"

Abby looked up at him as if suddenly remembering that he was still in the room and then blushed, "Nothing."

"Yeah, _right,"_ he retorted sarcastically. "You're concentrating way too hard for 'nothing'."

She sighed and shut the lid of the laptop, her focus completely on him now, studying him as if to decide if she wanted to tell him or not. He stared back at her with what he hoped was his best, 'We're pals, you can tell me anything' expression, whatever that looked like.

Finally she shrugged and chuckled at him, "Fine, if you _must_ know, I was setting up an online dating profile. Figured it's been years and maybe it's time I got back into the scene, you know."

Connor blanched at the thought of Abby dating, but knew that he couldn't stop her so he summoned every ounce of strength he had to keep his emotions in check and respond, "Oh… have-have you _met_ anyone on the site yet?"

To his relief, Abby shook her head. "I haven't even submitted the profile yet, I'm just, you know, deciding what to put, picking a username and all that. I think I wanna be a bit anonymous at first; I don't need some creep being able to look me up in the phone book based on the info there. I'll get to know someone before telling them anything real personal."

Connor nodded, "Yeah, yeah safe is good. In fact…"

Abby noticed his hesitation and prompted him to continue, "In fact, what, Connor…"

"Well it's just, Abs, I'm not so sure I like this whole idea, but maybe I can help. It's just, well I'm not trying to be mean here Abby, but you've told me about your past and maybe some of the guys you dated before weren't all that great, and maybe, no offence and I'm just saying it cuz I care about you, but maybe your judgement of dating material isn't all that good. Sorry. So I guess what I mean is, maybe I should help you and make sure you represent yourself right and if you start to get a bit serious with someone maybe I should screen the messages and hack into their files before you actually meet them in person, eh? Because if you're gonna do this, I don't want to see you settle for anyone less than you deserve, Abs. I couldn't let you go through some of that stuff again."

He stopped rambling and nervously picked at his fingerless gloves as he waited for her reply. To his surprise she came and sat beside him, giving him a peck on the cheek. "Connor, that'd be fantastic," she told him sincerely. "Thank-you."

* * *

U _SERNAME: SkyBlueLizard_  
 _Age: 28_  
 _Job: Classified_  
 _Likes: Lizards, Kickboxing,_ Reading _, Dancing_  
 _Looking for: Caring man within a few years of my age who likes animals. Someone who has a lot of flexibility and patience when it comes to their partner having to work odd hours at times._

That's how Abby's profile read when Connor looked over it. It didn't look like three hours worth of work to him; there was barely anything there. She hadn't even put up a photograph. When he questioned her on it, she replied that she'd spent most her time deciding which site to join and making up the username. She also said she didn't want to put up photo. She wanted to find someone who liked her for who she was, not what she looked like.

Connor knew that without a photo and with so little information, she wouldn't get nearly as many serious message requests, but he didn't push the matter. If anything he was relieved. He didn't really _want_ her to find anyone anyways, now did he? So if her profile looked a wee bit boring, he was happy.

"It's good, Abs," he agreed, and she'd finally saved it.

* * *

Boring or not, the messages started coming in from guys who were obviously desperate. Abby read most of them out to Connor and he was relieved that she was willing to share them.

To start with, no one really interested her. Some of them were downright creepy and others were obviously meant to be jokes, people trolling on the internet. A few of them seemed too good to be true to the point that there was no doubt they originated in Nigeria. ' _I am the fourth heir of president who died and I have larges amounts of money to give to pretty girl who will marry me.'_

Abby giggled as she wrapped the bedsheet she was folding around her body, pretending it was a wedding dress and Connor tossed her some flowers from the bouquet on the table. "Abby," he asked in mock seriousness. "Do you take the president's heir to be your husband?"

"If he's got the money, I do!"

They both laughed as Abby tossed the sheet back in the laundry basket.

* * *

Amidst the fun and games there was one guy, one guy that sounded normal, friendly, likeable, and pretty altogether great. Connor felt like his heart stopped beating when he saw the flutter of hope in Abby's eyes as she read the message and proclaimed with a shrug, "Well, this one might not be too bad."

Connor leaned over her shoulder, dreading the fact that Abby may have just stumbled across her Mr. Right. But then as he read the profile he sighed with relief. The guy actually sounded perfect but there was the one tiny flaw. "Sorry, Abs," he pointed out, "But it says he's a vet. Anyone with a medical degree specializing in animals will be asking _way_ too many questions about Rex don't you think?"

"True," Abby agreed and deleted the message.

But despite his relief, Connor felt like he was counting down before everything between himself and Abby changed, and not for the better.

* * *

The messages kept coming, but after a couple of weeks Abby stopped reading them to Connor and started just deleting them. When he questioned her she shrugged and replied, "Because I'm bored, Connor. You can't seriously still be entertained by my junk mail folder, can you? If anything good turns up, I'll let you know."

But as time passed and all the messages continued to follow along the same lines, Connor noticed that her boredom turn to frustration and sadness. She wasn't upset that she hadn't found anyone yet, but she was upset that no one was interested in her. Connor knew that Abby was already very self-depreciating at times, and he hated watching it get her down.

He didn't really want to see her dating anyone, but he absolutely hated seeing her depressed, so he finally decided to try and help her again.

"Abs, are you sure you don't want to add a photo. You're really fit you know. You'll attract a lot of attention."

"I'm already getting attention, Con. It's just the wrong sort and a photo will just make it worse."

"Well, why don't you try browsing the site yourself, seeing if there's any profiles that you _do_ like and then sending the first message."

Abby shrugged, but Connor could see she was thinking about that. Finally she opened the search page and typed in her desired age range, but hesitated before filling out the rest. "Likes… I want him, for example, to like animals, Con, but what if he likes animals but just didn't think to put that on his profile, you know? Maybe I shouldn't be specific or I might miss out on someone?"

Connor shook his head. "No, Abs, you deserve the best. Be _very_ specific because maybe you just might find the perfect guy. And if you don't, then you can start removing the interests one by one and re-searching until you find someone with the most qualities that you want."

Abby nodded and started typing, filling in as much detail as she could about her perfect man while Connor moved around the kitchen putting away the dishes. He had been on dish duty for the last three days after accidentally leaving Abby's best scarf in the freezer one night.

* * *

"Well," Abby said after awhile, "No results."

"So now start removing the things that are the least important to you one at a time."

She nodded but stood up. "Maybe tomorrow. I'm a bit too tired to decide what's the least important; I'm going to bed."

"Can I try looking for you, Abs?"

She shrugged, "Sure, but don't stay up too late. Never know when we'll have a midnight anomaly."

* * *

Connor did a quick scan of traits Abby had put were important to her so he knew what he was looking for. And then he did a longer read. Finally, in shock, he broke down every single thing she'd filled in as it sunk in that she'd just described _him._

 _Prefers dark hair, brown eyes._  
 _Older by a year or two. Taller._  
 _Personality: Caring, Honest, Loyal, Geeky, Quirky, Supportive, Funny._  
 _Likes: Animals, Movie Nights, Video Games, Cuddling, Cooking, Jokes._

He glanced at her closed bedroom door and whispered, "What the _hell,_ Abby? Whatever happened to us staying best pals because I'm _really not your type?"_

He hesitated and then decided to show Abby exactly what was what. Leaving her computer where it was on the kitchen table he retreated to the loft and fetched his own. Typing quickly he made an anonymous profile of his own, being careful not to write anything that would give away his true identity but one that would check off most her boxes. Then he looked her up and sent off a message.


	2. Chapter 2

Connor fiddled nervously with his fork as he watched Abby check her messages across from him. She was deleting them as quickly as she skimmed through them and Connor was suddenly worried she'd delete his. What if she laughed at it? He thought what he'd written was pretty good for an anonymous first message but what did he know? Last night he'd almost gotten up and deleted it from her computer before she could see it, but he was determined to do this.

He knew he was taking a huge risk; this could all end up very badly, but he might lose her to someone else if he didn't do it and Abby was definitely worth taking risks for, worth fighting for. So he'd left the message, and he wasn't about to give up either. If she laughed and deleted his message he'd just try a new one on a different new account tomorrow. He'd keep going until he said _something_ that attracted her attention.

But she didn't delete it. He noticed the way she was taking longer on the one message and crossed his fingers that it was _his._ Especially when he saw the way her eyes lit up and the soft smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Gotta good one?" he forced himself to casually ask.

Abby nodded and gave a half shrug, "Maybe… too soon to tell. Come see."

Connor moved around to the other side of the table so he could peer over her shoulder, and then sighed with relief that it was his. He pretended to read, but he already had it memorized, he'd far more than triple checked what he was writing before sending it.

 _"Dear SkyBlueLizard,_  
 _I like animals too. I'm 29, and a bit of a geek but thought I'd take a chance and send you a message. I don't mind the job thing you mentioned in the profile since my own job requires some degree of on call work at odd hours too. Makes it hard to find someone understanding, but I thought maybe you'd understand since you're in the same boat. I like the great outdoors, but I also love to sit on the sofa and cuddle while watching Star Wars or playing video games. I'm looking for a proper relationship, not just a casual date, and I think I'd like to take the time to get to know you here before meeting you in person or even sending a photo. After all, it's the personality that counts, innit? I prefer not to be judged by my appearance. If you are still interested, please reply back with a bit more about yourself. If not, then good luck finding your perfect mate._  
 _From StarWarsBiggestFan_

Connor glanced at Abby, "He _does_ sound alright, but since when are you interested in some video gaming geek, Abs?" He was partially trying to throw her off track about the person's true identity, and partly really interested because it was definitely _not_ what she'd expressed in the past.

Abby shrugged, "Oh, I dunno. I guess you've grown on me, Connor. I've noticed that you and your geeky friends can be pretty sweet sometimes, besides a couple of the games you make me play _are_ kinda fun. I think I could like this guy."

"You gonna message him back then?"

Abby hesitated and then nodded, "Yeah, I think I just might."

* * *

Abby had thought about what to say throughout the rest of breakfast and when she'd finally announced, "There! Sent!" Connor was desperate to go upstairs and read her message, but he calmly finished the clean-up first so as to not be too obvious.

"Are you gonna tell me what you wrote?"

Abby shrugged, "Just a bit of basic stuff, not a lot, not yet. May not go anywhere but if it gets to the point where I might wanna meet up with him or divulge some personal information, I'll get you to read through and screen it all, just in case."

Connor nodded and kept wiping the table.

* * *

 _Dear StarWarsBiggestFan,_  
 _Thanks for your message. What's your favourite kind of animal? I like lizards, but you probably could have guessed that from my username. Do you like any sports? I love kickboxing, but I played soccer a bit back when I was in school. I know you want to remain anonymous for a bit, and I think I do too, but can you at least confirm you are from London or willing to relocate to London if things got serious? I can't leave my job and don't want to waste time if it can never be. Also, I don't mind you not telling me your name yet, but StarWarsBiggestFan is a bit long to type out. Can I call you something else? An acronym maybe? SWBF?_  
 _You can call me A if you want. I don't want to reveal my name just yet, but I don't mind you knowing that it starts with an A._  
 _What's your favourite color? Mine's green._  
 _A_

 _Dear A_  
 _Thank-you for responding! I was so happy get a reply back! Lizards are great, but I do love dogs too. I'm more of a spectator sport guy myself, to be honest, but I try to train at the gym on a regular basis and I do enjoy morning jogs._  
 _Yes, I am also in London, so that's good news. And yes, SWBF is fine, or whatever else you feel like calling me. I'm not too picky. Maybe my favourite colours are red and icy blue, but it kind depends on what it is. I mean, I'm happy that the grass is green and not red, and I like the sky being blue, though sunset it looks cool being red. I wouldn't want a brown sky though, or a green human. Do you think we even all see colors the same? Maybe your favourite color and mine are the same but we learnt it by different names. How do we know what I see as green is what you see as green?_  
 _SWBF_

 _Dear SWBF_  
 _Personally, I think we do see colours the same, but I would have no way of proving it. Definitely something to ponder, and I have been all day. Here's my reason. It's because there are warm and cold colors and they seem to affect moods. Yellow is an energetic colour for example, and cheerful and I think most people agree. If some people saw dark blue as yellow, they wouldn't think it was so cheerful, would they? So I think it's all the same._  
 _I'm glad you live in London. Do you have family nearby? Tell me about them. I have just a younger brother who pops in and out of my life once in awhile. He needs some looking after, that one does._  
 _A_

 _Dear A_  
 _You make a good point about the colours. I've never thought about that. You sound really thoughtful and smart, I like that._  
 _I have family, but not nearby. My mother and grandmother live in another part of the UK. Me dad died when I was a teenager and I have no siblings. I keep in touch with my Mum and Gran a lot though._  
 _What's your favourite food? I like French Toast._  
 _SWBF_

 _Dear SWBF_  
 _My roommate loves French Toast too. Actually you'd probably get along with him pretty great, he's a Star Wars geek too._  
 _As for me I like a good veal parmesean or chicken cordon bleu with a salad._  
 _I forgot to ask, you mentioned you like dogs, do you have any?_  
 _A_

Connor nervously read over the last message. He wondered how long he could keep Abby from guessing who he really was as the messages became more and more personal. He had mentioned his dad's death to her, as well as his mother and Gran on several occasions and it was clear she was already starting to compare them. What was he going to do when she started asking for photos or a name? Thank goodness she's only asked if he had a dog rather than asking her what _kind_ of pets he had. Somehow he didn't think listing off a coelurosauravus and a couple of diictodons would come across as just a coincidence. He didn't want to tell her any lies.

* * *

 _Dear A_  
 _And what about you? What do you think about Star Wars? What's your favourite movie or genre?_  
 _No, I don't have any dogs, maybe one day. I think I'd like to have a big dog one day. Then I could name it after a Star Wars character. What about you, do you have any dogs, or lizards?_  
 _SWBF_

Of course Connor already knew the answer to his questions, but he wanted to keep her chatting about safe topics.

 _Dear SWBF_  
 _I have some lizards and other little reptiles. Their names are Rex, Nancy and Sid. Well Sid really belongs to my roommate. I don't have any dogs, but I'd be fine with it. I like all animals. Actually, before I got the job I have now, which I can't really talk about it, I used to be a zookeeper. I worked with lizards mostly but I also did some work with the animals that others find interesting, like lions and elephants. As far as movies go, to be honest, I'm more of a romcom type gal, but Star Wars wasn't too bad, haha! I wouldn't call myself a full-on geek, as it's not the stuff I'd choose if I had the choice, but I do enjoy the movies when it's my roommates turn to pick at our weekly movie night too, not that I'd ever admit it to him, haha! I also don't mind playing video games with him as much as I let on either, though I'm not a fan of his favourite, Oblivion. Do you like that game? I prefer stuff like Mario Party or Zelda. What about reading? What's your favourite book?_  
 _A_

 _Dear A_  
 _That zookeeper thing sounds like a sweet gig. Why did you switch jobs?_  
 _Yes! Yes! Yes! I love Oblivion! It's the best! The games you like are pretty swell too though, and I'm just happy to hear that you are good with playing them._  
 _I love reading, especially stuff by Michael Crichton. What about you?_  
 _Why don't you want your roommate to know you enjoy playing games with him? Or watching his movies? Wouldn't he be happy about that? Or do you not get along?_  
 _SWBF_

He was partially trying to throw her off with the last questions, but he partially wanted to know her thoughts.

 _Dear SWBF_  
 _I switched jobs because the zoo was downsizing and I got demoted. They gave me a 6 month gig studying parasites in elephant dung, which believe it or not, I took. I did the study but got a new offer for the new job shortly after the study ended and rather than a second study studying parasites in tiger poop I took the new offer. No regrets!_  
 _Michael Crichton's books are great! I have a bunch of them and my roommate has the others so we borrow off each other._  
 _Hmm… He'd probably be thrilled to be honest, and we get along great, but it'd ruin my rep as a non-geek and then I wouldn't be able to make fun of him anymore haha! He probably suspects it anyways to be honest, I never really put up that much of a fuss when he makes me play his games._  
 _A_

* * *

The messages back and forth continued in similar matter for almost a month, and then one day at breakfast Abby handed Connor her laptop.

"Con, do you think you could read all these and let me know what you think? Would it be okay to ask him for a proper in-person date?"


	3. Chapter 3

Connor sighed, wondering what to do. He'd spent the last evening reading all the messages again, even though he already knew what they said, just so he could truthfully tell Abby that he'd done it.

If it was any _other_ guy, he'd have told Abby to ask for a photograph and a real name first so he could hack the guys file and make sure he was safe. But he didn't really _want_ Abby to ask that now did he? Because once Abby figured out who he was, then it was game over. He needed Abby to realise it was himself at their first in person meeting, and not before, and he didn't want that meeting to happen until he was sure she was in love with the guy.

He debated back and forth between telling her to wait and risk her guessing his identity before the first date, or setting up a date with her now and risk her not being in deep enough to realise it was _Connor_ she loved.

And then finally he had an idea: SWBF could tell her.

He told Abby to go ahead and ask.

* * *

 _Dear SWBF_  
 _Thanks for your last message! The video links you sent me were hilarious, especially the one about the barking cat!_  
 _I was just wondering, we've been chatting for a month now, would you be willing to meet in person? Go on an official first date? Please don't feel pressured, if you want to wait longer I totally understand._  
 _A_

 _Dear A_  
 _Wow! What to tell you…_  
 _You know I really do want to meet you in person but a part of me wants to wait a bit longer too… I'm so torn! I just… I want to be 100% sure that you are the one first. Why? I don't know. I guess I just feel like doing this anonymously is giving me the opportunity I never had while dating in person before to really be myself, to be judged ONLY on my personality and opinions. Keeping things in writing means that I have to come up with more things to share and talk about than I would if I was distracted by looking at you, holding your hand, kisses._  
 _And then on the other hand, I feel like I already know that you are the one and that I've passed that point now, so perhaps my hesitancy lies more in where I stand with you. Is it weird to want to keep being anonymous until after you love me? Do you love me already? Could you ever love me while I am only words on a screen to you?_  
 _If you already love me or if you feel that you never could until we meet face to face, then we must definitely pursue this in person, but if you are unsure, I would like to wait until you know. I hope my words have not upset you, I mean no harm._  
 _SWBF_

* * *

Abby showed Connor the new note, wondering what to make of it. She had no idea what to do now. "What if he's a real creep? Or a crook? I mean, why does he want me to be in so deep before I can meet him? So I can't back out when I find out the truth?"

 _Pretty much,_ Connor mused to himself before reading it for show. Out loud he asked her, "Well, _do_ you love him? You were the one who wanted to meet up so you must have some feelings?"

Abby shrugged, "I think… I think I _might,_ a little bit, you know. But I'm scared and will feel better when we meet in person. It's almost like I want to 'get it over with' in case it doesn't work out. What if he only thinks he loves me but in person decides he doesn't?"

"You're more worried about what he thinks of you, or what you might think of him?"

"Both, equally, I guess."

"Well then, why not eliminate _one_ of those fears. Maybe it'll help you decide. You don't have to move at the same speed do you? Tell him who you _really_ are. Send him that photo now, and your real name, but don't require the same back from him if he's not ready. If he's normal, he'll stalk you secretly on social media for awhile, give him permission to, and you'll know if he's still interested in you based on who you are at least."

"I guess one worry is better than two," Abby agreed. "If I knew he liked me for who I am, not who he imagines me to be, I probably would be more willing to risk falling for him. More than I have I mean."

"Exactly."

Connor tried to contain his glee that she'd fallen for that. She _must_ have pretty strong feelings if she's willing to continue with the relationship so one-sidedly he grinned to himself.

* * *

 _Dear SWBF_  
 _I think my fears are different than yours. I am at the point now where the main thing holding me back from falling head over heels for you is my worry that you will not like me when we meet in person, but I do understand what you are saying too._  
 _I talked to my roommate about it and came up with a solution. I no longer want to remain anonymous, but I do not mind if you do. I want to tell you who I really am and see if you still feel the same about me as you did before._  
 _Would that be okay?_  
 _A_

 _Dear A_  
 _Of course! I have to admit that I am certain anything you say will not change my feelings for you. I am happy you are not offended if I wish to remain anonymous just a little bit longer. I look forward to hearing from you._  
 _SWBF_

 _Dear SWBF_  
 _Okay, here it is then. My full name is Abigail Sarah Maitland. While I still can't tell you anything about my job because it's classified, I have sent you some photographs of me. Mostly, I just prefer to be called Abby. You'll have to let me know, do I look anything like you expected me to? I don't know what else to tell you but feel free to stalk me online now that you know my real name, haha!_  
 _Abby_

 _Dear Abby,_  
 _You look exactly like I expected, aka beautiful! You have the most beautiful eyes in the world and I think you look like a gorgeous pixie/fairy. I'm a huge fantasy fan so I hope you take that as the compliment I mean it as. I hope that when we meet you are not disappointed in who I am and the way I look. I'm actually a wee bit terrified about that, I guess that's why I want to make sure you really love me before I reveal myself. I feel like if you already love me, it won't matter who I am. That's not to say I'm super gross or anything, I'm actually pretty fit, if I'm allowed to say so myself. Normal anyways, I hope._

 _So, tell me more about the photos. Is that your brother or your roommate with you? What are their names? That must be your lizard?! Wow, he looks well cool!_  
 _Let me ask you, have you told anyone about me? Besides your roommate I mean?_

 _Love SWBF_

 _Dear SWBF_  
 _Thank-you! I'm really happy that my photos met your expectations! That's my roommate, his name is Connor. Here, I've sent you one of my brother Jack now too. Yes that's my lizard Rex. He's super cool, a really rare species. He was donated to the zoo I used to work at by some kid who found him and since they were shutting down the reptile unit in their downsize I was able to keep him._  
 _No, Connor's the only person I've told about you. I hope you aren't upset, but I let him read your messages. I've had some bad relationships in the past, like really, really bad, and I don't always trust my own judgement so he said he'd screen any potential suitors, you know, make sure I wasn't getting myself into any dangerous situations. I totally trust you now, but just a warning… Connor's super smart, if I was ever in danger the person endangering me would be tracked down and shut away in prison forever haha! (Connor's got loads of super powerful connections too.)_  
 _I didn't tell anyone else about you, not because I'm ashamed of you but because I'm not really close enough to anyone else that I chat about my love life._  
 _Love Abby_

Connor grinned at the fact that she'd spoken so well of him, and even more at the fact that she'd copied him in signing "love". He'd give her another month or so to get really attached and then hope for the best. In the meantime he simply wrote back that he was happy she had someone like this Connor dude looking out for her.


	4. Chapter 4

_Dear Abby,_  
 _Sometimes when I write to you I feel like I'm writing to an advice columnist, and I'm sure it's because I start every email out with "Dear Abby". All jokes aside now, I've been thinking back to your letter a few weeks back and I think I am ready to meet in person now. Are you still interested in trying? I feel like we are at the point where our relationship would grow much more than the computer can ever allow it to._  
 _How about meeting tomorrow night at Sphere Starlight and I can treat you to dinner and a dance? 7:00?  
_ _Love SWBF_

* * *

 _Dear SWBF_  
 _That sounds fantastic! Truly I am very excited to finally "meet" you, even though I feel as if we already know each other. That being said, I don't even know your real name? If we are going to meet in person in a few hours, would you please send me your name and photograph now so I know who to look for?_  
 _Love Abby_

Connor winced as he read the message and panic started to set in. An hour ago it had seemed like a great idea, but now he wasn't sure and it wasn't just her demands for a name and photo that had him in a turmoil. Sure, he wasn't sure how he was going to get out of sending them at this point, but her "in a few hours" had him suddenly realise that this was _real._ It was 11pm now, so in less than 24 hours Abby would know the truth and, for good or bad, things probably weren't going to be quite the same between them because of it. Maybe he should call it off? Say he changed his mind and just wasn't ready yet after all? Had a family emergency? Outright stand her up and let her move on to some other guy instead? It wasn't too late.

But Abby loved him, or at least the anonymous version of him, and she would be crushed if the plans fell through now, he knew that. And how would he comfort her when he was too overcome with guilt that it was because of _him_ that she was upset. No, he had started this and he had to follow through, he just hoped she wasn't too angry when she found out the truth.

* * *

 _Dear Abby,_  
 _I suppose that would be fair, but I've held off sending my information for so long now that it almost would feel like I'm giving up just before the end of a long journey, if that makes any sense… It probably doesn't. While I trust you, I really was hoping to stay anonymous until the "big reveal" tomorrow night, haha! I hope you understand. Don't worry about looking for me, I'll be sure to recognize you from your photos. I'm sure you'll easily stand out as the most beautiful woman , I feel like I could give you a little bit of information. I have brown hair and brown eyes. I'm of average height and build._  
 _Abby, are you also nervous?  
_ _I am so very nervous. I love you so much, with all my heart, and I know I always will so it scares me that when you see who I am really you will change your mind about me. I have never lied to you, but I worry that I will not be the person you expected or imagined and that you will leave me with a broken heart. I am sorry. I am not saying this to doubt you, it is myself I doubt, and whether I am good enough for you.  
_ _Love SWBF_

 _Dear SWBF_  
 _You know my true identity and I still share the same fears. I'm sure we are both scared of nothing, haha! We've been talking for 4 months now, which I feel is long enough to get to know someone. Actually, the fact that I just admitted this to you should let you know how much I care for you and trust you, because I'm the type that doesn't openly like to admit when I'm scared of something. Normally the only person I would ever even consider mentioning my fears to is Connor._  
 _No worries about the photo, I understand._  
 _Looking forward to tomorrow._  
 _Love Abby_

* * *

Connor lightly banged his head on his desk in frustration. Sometimes when he read Abby's emails to him he wondered why she couldn't see for herself that loved him, as Connor that is, not as some random Star Wars geek. Why was _Connor_ any lower on her radar than someone who was just like him but anonymous? The way she raved about him in her emails would have scared any guy away by now or at the very _very_ least having them questioning her. Most guys would have said something long ago about how they were "sorry, but they didn't think this was going to work due to the fact that you are obviously in love with your roommate."

Of course Connor wasn't actually going to say that because that's what he _wanted,_ but why did she just not get it herself? How could you be in love with someone close to you and not know it?

* * *

"Con?" He heard Abby coming up the stairs to the loft and quickly shut his laptop and started pretending to read his book.

"Yeah?"

Abby appeared in his room and plonked herself down on the bed. "Star Wars wants to take me to dinner tomorrow."

"Good. That's what you want, isn't it?"

"Yeah, you think it's safe, right?"

"I wouldn't have said 'good' if I didn't, Abby. I've got a good feeling about this guy. Do you want me to chaperone? Or at least drive you there?"

Abby hesitated, her desire to 'take care of herself' arguing with the part of her that knew this was a logical and safe idea when meeting someone from online for the first time, even if a chaperone _was_ a bit old fashioned. In the end she nodded and smiled at him, "Thanks, Con. Maybe just, come in with me, meet the guy, but don't chaperone the entire date? He's paying for dinner and probably not expecting me to bring a friend."

* * *

"His favourite colours are red or sky blue," Abby mused aloud to Connor at lunch. "Which should I wear?"

Connor shrugged, not sure it would be appropriate for him to decide this for her considering he was actually her date. "Wear whichever is more comfortable for you so you aren't thinking about your outfit all night, whether those colours or another."

"I have dresses in either colour that are probably just as comfy as the other. What do _you_ think I'd look better in?"

He hesitated and then answered, "You'll be beautiful in either Abs. The blue will bring out your eyes but you'd look right smashing in red. If it was my choice I'd say red because you rarely wear such bold colours."

"But if that's the only reason, Star Wars doesn't know that since he's not seen me in either."

"Like I said, your choice."

* * *

Abby went with the red dress, a deep red number she had with a skirt that flared out the knees and a black ribbon around the waist, she also donned some red lipstick for a change. Connor always thought she looked beautiful but now she completely took his breath away. He was thankful that there wasn't really some other guy about to whisk her away from him, and worried that Abby may not be as glad about it when she found out.

Connor himself had worn some dark jeans and a red dress shirt that matched hers. He wanted to look good, but not too formal. For one thing, he didn't like himself in a suit, though a tux was better, and for another he didn't want her questioning his attire.

* * *

Connor's heart pounded heavily in his chest as he drove her to the location. Abby was clearly nervous too, but she didn't have to hide it the way he did. He hoped she wouldn't notice.

* * *

When they arrived he decided to treat it as a date from the get-go. He wanted to show her that he was dating material even before she realised he _was_ her date. He held the car door open for her and then held her hand as he escorted her inside. Abby was too busy spinning her head around looking for someone who could be SWBF to even really notice his gesture and her fingers gripped his tightly. It was more instinct than anything. She'd held his hand plenty of times before when running from dinosaurs and the body reacted similarly to nerves regardless of the degree of threat causing them he found.

It wasn't until they were inside and Connor asked for the table reserved under his own name that Abby suddenly gave him her attention. Connor could see that she was about to correct him, but the host's response of, "Yes of course, your table is ready, follow me please," was enough quiet her.

Her brow was furrowed in confusion as they were led to the table, and Connor could see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to figure out the missing piece to the puzzle that she was suddenly putting together in her mind. She slid into the dimly lit booth and Connor sat across from her, accepting the menus for both of them. He handed her hers and spoke, "Well, this place is well nice, innit?"

Abby wasn't looking at her surroundings now though, she was staring at Connor. "Connor, do you think he's here yet? Do you see anyone that could be Star Wars Biggest Fan?"

But she was asking as confirmation, not confusion anymore. He could hear the suspicion in her question and he chuckled, "Abby, how many times over the past two years have I made you sit through one of the Star Wars films for movie night? Do you really think there could be a bigger fan out there?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Over the past four months Connor had tried to prepare himself mentally for any reaction Abby might have. Mostly when he'd pictured the moment in his head she'd been furious, but it hadn't stopped him. While he didn't really like the idea of making Abby angry, he'd always convinced himself that he was going to have to fight for her, and in the end it'd be worth it.

A couple times he'd pictured her as being disappointed in him and once in a blue moon he'd let himself hope that she'd admit she'd been hoping it was him all along and instantly confess her undying love for him.

But as much time as he'd spent preparing himself for her reaction, he hadn't prepared himself for the idea that she might _not_ react at all.

She continued to stare at him for a few seconds and then looked down at her menu and started scanning it without a word and Connor wasn't entirely sure _what_ to do at this point.

"I'll start with a glass of champagne and a side Caesar salad," she finally announced, looking up after what seemed like a long time.

Connor nodded at her, and she buried her head back into the menu, presumably to decide on her main course. Connor deducted that any reaction on his part to a non-reaction on hers would therefore be classified as an overreaction so he tried to focus on his own menu too.

He'd barely made it through the description of the first dish when she softly spoke again, this time a simple question. "Why?"

He hesitated. Why indeed? There were many reasons why, the main ones being that it _made sense,_ that they belonged together, and that he didn't think she'd give him a chance if she'd known from the start.

Before he could try to express that to her though she continued, her voice cold, "Did someone put you up to it? Or did you come up with this one by yourself. I have to admit that as far as pranks go it was…"

He didn't let her finish that one, " _Abby!_ What the _hell?!_ You've lived with me for two _years._ Do you honestly think I did this as a bloody _prank?!_ Do you really think _that little_ of me that you think I could do that to you?!"

She fell silent and then shook her head, her eyes not meeting his. "No, no, Connor, I guess not. At least I never would have before, but I don't know _what_ to think at this point. I've been hurt before, Connor, but I'm not sure I've _ever_ felt so betrayed. And yet the one person, the _only_ person, that I can turn to is you! So where does that leave me now? Eh? How can you sit here, knowing you lied to me for four months, and then expect me to just… I don't even know what. I haven't the foggiest what you expect of me right now, to be honest. I need answers. I need to know why."

"Well I've got questions too, Abs, but first of all, I did not lie to you. Not _once,_ did I lie to you, I was very careful about that. The closest I came to being dishonest was when I asked you questions that I already knew the answers to, to throw you off as to who I was, but nothing I said in those emails, or in person, was a lie. And if you know that you should know why I did it. Same reason I told you in the emails, I was terrified, Abby, that if I revealed who I was to you really, you'd want nothing to do with me."

"But you went through with it anyways," she accused him. "Don't you think that what we have together is pretty special, pretty great, already? You want us to change that?"

"No, of course I don't. You're me best pal, Abby and I wouldn't change that for the world. But I wanna be that lucky guy that gets to marry his best pal and grow old with her and sit in a rocker on the front porch reminiscing to the grandkids about the good old days when dinosaurs roamed the earth."

Abby bit her lip and he saw that she was starting to smile, "Only that last bit is classified, Con."

He shrugged and smiled back, "Either way, _that_ to me is worth fighting for, Abs. And you ask why? Because I love you, that's why. Because I would _never_ stand in your way of happiness but when you go on a dating website and then type in what you want in a perfect guy and I'm sure as hell that you've just unwittingly described _me,_ when I find out that _I'm_ your perfect dude, then _why not?!_ But I know if I right out asked you out you'd flat out refuse so I wanted you to fall in love with me for who I was _first._ And Abby, that's exactly why you won't find a single untruth in those emails. I wanted you to love me for _me,_ not for a fake. I was very, very honest with you in those emails and if the man you fell in love with happens to be named Connor and happens to live in your loft, so what? It's still _me._ So, I guess I did it because I didn't want you to move on to someone else when I found out that you could be happy with _me._ Maybe it was selfish of me, but I did it for you too. I did it for _us._ I'm willing to fight for us, and I was kinda hoping that if you fell in love with me, you would be too. Have you _never, not once_ thought about me and you like that Abby? Never considered _what if?_ Even if just for a brief moment?"

Abby blushed as she responded, "No, honestly Connor, I haven't, but maybe I should have and-and I'm thinking about it now."

"And…?"

"And I think that I want to finish this date, you owe me a dinner after all, and a dance. And then I want you to take me home and we can do what we've done a hundred times over, we can cuddle on the couch and watch a movie, but maybe _not_ Star Wars. After all, I've been telling you in emails for ages now that I looked forward to the day we could do that, never suspecting I'd been doing it with you all along. And I'll see how it feels. And then maybe I'll stay up late and reread your emails again, every last one of them and prove to myself that there was nothing dishonest in any of them because, Connor, I _do_ trust you but if I were to learn I can't…"

To her relief, Connor didn't look concerned about her threat to reread the messages. If he had, she'd be worried, but she could see from his expression that he _knew_ there was nothing dishonest in them and it made her feel better.

"And then what, Abs? And then will you be my girlfriend? Or are you still wishing there was some other guy who loved Star Wars more than I do."

Abby chuckled, "Well actually, now that you mention it, I don't even know what I was thinking in the first place. I mean, it's not like I was looking to ever leave _you_ out, Connor, and how the hell did I think I was gonna put up with _two_ of you around? Kinda works out better you're all one and the same doesn't it?"

"So we can try this?" Connor pushed. "We can try being a couple and seeing where it leads?"

"No, Connor, we're not _trying,_ anything, because I'm not risking our friendship like that. If we're doing this, we're doing it, but there's no trial period. It's full on commitment and it _has_ to last, and we both have to agree to fight for it, or it's back to best pals now and it stays that way. It's up to you."

"You already know my answer."

"I know," she smiled at him.

* * *

 _Dear SWBF  
Bad news… I was watching videos on youtube and I found a guy that's possibly a bigger Star Wars fan on you. Guy has spent millions on merchandise. Therefore, I think I'll just start calling you Connor from now on. After watching the video I'm really actually glad it was not him writing to me all this time, because I really couldn't have asked for a better date. Thanks for everything you did for us, Connor, thanks for fighting for us when I was too blind to see I needed to.  
You said you were worried about what I'd think when you revealed yourself to me, and now that I know who you are I truly understand how terrifying that must have been to you, just how much you risked for us. I owe you an entire Star Wars marathon haha!  
I love you, _

_Abby_

 ** _THE END_**


End file.
